Lately I have noticed certain fashion assailants on my various adventures. As a legitimate voice of the fashion inclined and more importantly, the fashion challenged, I feel it is my solemn duty to bring this particular plight to the fashion forefront.
Let’s get something straight ladies … tights and leggings are not pants.
No. Really. They are not pants.
When you think of the historical uses of tights and/or leggings, they have appeared in sports, ballet, Robin Hood, hair metal bands, even on Lady GaGa - in which case they functioned as suitable leg coverings. However, unless you are performing your own theatrical rendition of The Nutcracker or traipsing through Sherwood Forrest with your merriest of men, your pantsless decision is a poorly thought out one.
Apparently society at large has chosen to accept this trend or ignore the fact it exists, because I keep seeing more and more ladies of all ages, sizes, and walks-of-life letting their “intimate details” hang out. Wearing tights or leggings as pants is the fashion equivalent of TMI.
With that being said, let’s take a look at my anti-tights-as-pants list:
1. Want your legs to appear skinny? Opt for a pair of skinny jeans in black or a dark blue. The are simple, non-revealing, and can be worn with anything.
2. Make sure your tights fit. Loose fitting tights are kind of an oxymoron. Pair that with no pants and you have moved to just looking like a moron.
3. T-shirts are not “mini dresses.” They are meant to be worn as t-shirts and that is that. And no, just because you buy it oversized and cinch it with a belt does not make it anymore acceptable.
4. If your skirt, dress, or any other article of bottom clothing rides up while walking or sitting, adding tights to the look is not a viable solution. The real solution? Get rid of that article of clothing.
5. The movie Flashdance inspired the tights craze in the 1980s, but you my friend are no Jennifer Beals … so do not let me catch you pairing your tights with an off the shoulder, inside out sweatshirt and leg warmers or I will personally dump a bucket of water on you (if you do not get the reference, look it up).
6. Before you leave your room, take a look in the mirror without said tights. If you get offended by your full-frontal peep show or think you might get dollar bills thrown at you while walking to class, you might want to re-think your ensemble.
Can leggings or tights be an acceptable clothing staple? Absolutely. Can they ever be rocked without something over top of them? Absolutely not.
Please do not think this is a bash to anyone who has ever been caught with their pants off – I mean no disrespect. However, I am just looking out for your best interest. The winter months get progressively worse as the season rolls on and as I see these poor pantsless girls, walking from place to place with chattering teeth and buckled knees, I cringe. I am very anti-hypothermia as well as fully against frostbite.
Cover your shit up and I am sure we will all win in the end. No pun intended.
KLR
